Shadows of the Heart
by Little Miss Delliham
Summary: Underneath all this happiness and caring lay a heavily burdened heart, filled with the hurt, past days had left behind. Now I’m telling it, for her. This is Cassandras story.


WANING SPOILERS 1969, singularity and Heros part 2. Also MANY CHARACTER DEATHS

Disclamer:I do not own thisTV show therefore have no rights. However in-humane that isI have written this fic about Cass and what it would be like to be her. Just try and stop me now.......

Shadows of the Heart

I am Samantha Frasier-Jones. My grandmother, Cassandra Frasier, came to this planet as an alien, a little girl in need of someone to love, a safe home and a dog whom she called Bob. Known to all, she was the kindest most loving person to everyone, no matter who you were or what you looked like. But underneath all this happiness and caring lay a heavily burdened heart, filled with the hurt past days had left behind. Now I'm telling it, for her. This is Cassandras story.

"Auntie Em? Auntie Em?" Colonel Jack O'Neill called out as he got up from the Gate ramp.

" Where is everyone?" Captain Samantha Carter asked, looking around at the Gate room, which was completely deserted. Plastic shrouded cardboard boxes blocked doorways, which should have been in regular use. Lighting was at a minimum creating eerie silver shadows on the walls.

The Gate room was a ghostly scene with an air of abandonment.

SG-1 stood in silence, soaking up the strange yet familiar view of the place they knew well.

The main bay doors slid open, causing everyone to jump. An old lady in a long white dress of about 65 years stepped into the room.

"Hello Jack" she said, smiling at him. Startled and confused all Jack could do was just stare at her. She slowly walked up to the base of the Gate ramp with a look of amazement and delight in her eyes.

"Teal'c? Daniel? Oh, my! I hardly recognised you with hair!" She started to laugh.

Sam looked at Daniel, then Teal'c for an answer but both were completely puzzled and all she got was a shrug from either of them. Jack stepped forward, clearing his throat.

"Um………Do we know you?" He asked cautiously.

"Sam will recognise me" The old woman replied. The Captain straightened at the sound of her name. She studied the lady closer. _Her face, her eyes are somehow familiar, older perhaps_. Carters' eyes lit up with recognition.

"Oh my God. Cassandra!" Sam exclaimed running down off the ramp and giving her a hug.

" Excuse me." Jack interrupted tapping Carter on the shoulder "Who _is_ this?"

"It's Cassie, Sir" Carter answered in a _didn't you hear me_ kinda voice.

" Cassie's only thirteen years old." Jack said, still confused

" Not any more, Jack." Cassie said turning to face him. "I've been waiting for this my whole life." She smiled "You see, you jumped through Stargate too soon and the flare has thrown you into the future. I'm here to send you back to your own time."

"How did you know we'd be here? In this time?" Daniel asked, being the nosy archaeologist that he was.

" Sam told me" She said, then glanced around. "And as much as I would love to spend more time with you, You have to go now"

"Already? But there's so much that you…" Carter started.

"You of all people should know I can't" Cassandra cut her off.

Nodding, Carter and the rest of SG-1 headed back to the gate as Cassandra touched a small green stone that was on a device on the back of the hand. The stargate filled with the soft, blue rippling water of an established wormhole. SG-1 paused and looked back at Cassie for a moment before stepping through the event horizon.

Seconds ticked by and the wormhole closed.

"Now" Cassie sighed "you two can come out. I know you're here" She turned around as a little boy with short black hair and a cheeky grin crawled out from behind some of the boxes followed by his slightly older sister who stood up and stared at Cassie with her big milk brown eyes.

"Who were they?" she asked

"No one you should worry about Sammie, now what are you doing here, this is no place for a 12 year old and her little brother to be" Cassie diverted.

"Why are YOU here" the little boy cooed sitting at Cassie's feet staring up at her.

"I was here to meet some very special friends" Cassie smiled picking the boy up.

"Tell us please grandma, please?" the boy begged. Smiling and shaking her head they walked over to the edge of gate ramp and sat down.

"Well, where do I start?" Cassie asked

"Start with their names grandma, _please_" Sammie replied

"Ok, Well the big man with a gold symbol on his forehead was Teal'c, the blond haired woman was your great-great Aunty Samantha".

"Hey, that's my name!" Sammie exclaimed.

"Too true" Cassandra agreed with a chuckle "And the man with the glasses was Daniel Jackson, The other man was your great-great Uncle Jack."

"But they were young! Not old like you Grandma" The old lady smiled.

"That's because they came from the past. Have you done history yet, Adam? Any way they were just a bit older than your mum when I was your age. They were the ones who found me on Hanka, my home planet" A small frown came across Cassie's face as she remembered the horrible fate that everyone on her planet had awaited. A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

"Are you alright?" Sammie asked.

"Grandma you're leaking!" Adam sounded concerned.

"Its fine," Cassie said wiping the tear away and putting on a happy face. "My! Look at the time. We should get home, your mum will be wondering where you are!" She stood up letting the long white fabric drop to her feet.

"Come along you two" She called as they raced to grab hold of her hands.

Heartfull of sorrows and pains Cassandra walked her to grandchildren passed the cardboard boxes and out the bay door.

" _Hello? It's okay. You can come out. Look, I know I look pretty scary in this mask, but I'm not going to hurt you." Samantha Carter said bending down "Sir. There's someone in the bushes over here but they won't come out"_

"_We will not hurt you. Please come out" Teal'c sai, outstretching his hand. A small girl with long straight dark colour hair emerged from the bushes and took hold of Teal'cs' hand._

_Now on a hospital bed, the little girl sat, holding tightly to the tag of her dead brother._

"_You remember my name? Samantha Carter. But you can call me Sam." Sam said to the girl, hoping to get a response. The girl just sat there staring at the tag._

"_Oh, no your not going to die honey" Sam reached out for the tag but the girl recoiled and refused to let it go. "Ok then, why don't you try to sleep" She patted the girl on the head as she obediently layed down and closed her eyes._

_Waking up, the little girl found herself being carried by Sam down some completely identical grey wash corridors._

"_Please, go back to sleep", Sam begged._

"_You're crying", the girl said, noticing the tears that had welled up in Sam's eyes. Sam put the girl down, turned on her heals and fled._

"_Sam? Sam? You promised to never leave me!"_

"You promised!" Cassandra sat up. Darkness flowed through the windows and lapped at the bed. Breathing heavily and shaking, she whispered.

"You promised never to leave, never Sam" The sad sound of sobbing filled the room as the old lady with no-one left sat mourning for those who she had lost.

The lights flickered on as a tall and elegant woman walked into Cassandra's room.

"Grandma do you want to talk" The woman walked over and sat on the bed.

"Samantha" Cassie smiled "you should not make the worries of an old lady your own, go off to bed, I am fine".

"I worry constantly, I'm your grand-daughter after all, besides you're lucky Adam is not here, he's worse than me on this subject". A smile spread on both women's faces "Now, you have been having these bad dreams for a while and I would like to know what troubles you so".

"Nothing that you would understand my petal", Cassandra hugged her.

"Try me", Samantha whispered into Cassie's ear.

"_Are we going to die?" Cassandra asked Samantha Carter in a small innocent voice as they sat hugging on the grey concrete floor._

"_No, no we're not going to die" Sam reassured her._

"_5, 4, 3, 2, " Jacks voice sounded through Sam's radio. Samantha's grip around Cassandra tightened. A flash of white light filled the barred room.........._

"_Honey, I have something to tell you" Janet said placing a hand on Cassie's shoulder and forcing her to sit on the couch._

_The house of Janet Fraiser was tidy and clean. Not a single thing was out of place. A new sun shone happily through the window, stretching its light beams across the carpet floor._

"_What's up, and don't call me honey", Cassandra said in an annoyed yet chirpy voice. Tears started to roll down Janet's cheeks._

"_What's wrong?" Cassandra asked a little more seriously._

"_Um, sweetie, you know Daniel was very sick……."_

"_NO!, no! no! no!" Cassie's face turned to horror as she stood up._

"_The radiation was too much for his body", Janet looked down. " There was nothing I could do", she whispered._

"_NO!" Cassie screamed as she ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door. Leaning on the door, she slid to the ground, crying out for Daniel to come back._

"_Cassie, what are you doing?" Janet asked. Cassie looked up. Her bedroom had been replaced with the corridors of the SGC. She mustered enough strength to stand up then proceeded to walk off._

"_I have to go", she muttered._

"_You're not well enough to go anywhere. Go back to bed" Janet tried to convince her._

"_You're not my mother, you can't tell me what to do!" Cassandra hissed._

"_Then what have I been for the past couple of years?" Janet raised her voice, startled at her comment._

"_Let me leave!" Cassandra screamed "your killing me!!!" The lights flickered and then broke. Cassie fell to her knees on the floor._

"_I know this is going to be hard for you, trust me, I know". Sam Carter bent over the crouchingCassie. _

"_How would you know? She was my mother!" Cassie growled gasping for breath._

"_Cass', she was my best friend!" Sam knelt down._

"_Both my mums are gone, how could you possibly even begin to understand". She faced Sam._

"_My mum is gone as well, Cass'". Sam looked at Cassandra, she had tear streaked cheeks. "You know, I don't think puffy red eyes are back in fashion". A shy smile appeared on Cassie's face. The two women embraced in a warm hug._

_Slowly Sam and all the other surroundings started to fade away and turn into fog. It whipped around Cassandra, pulling and pushing at her from every direction._

"_Cassandra baby". A soft soothing voice floated in on the air._

"_Mum, is that you?" Cassandra looked around._

"_Come and play with me, Cassie" a small boy's voice echoed._

" _Nathan, I'm coming little brother, I won't be long", she sang out, skipping through the fog._

"_Cassie, I love you". The silhouette of a beautiful woman emerged fromthe white mist._

"_Mother!" Cassandra ran up to her. The figure faded back into the fog. She whirled around._

"_Hello". A small boy stood in front of her._

"_Nathan!" Cassandra stepped up to him. In the blink of an eye, he too had vanished back into the mist. A young boy's laughter drifted around the empty space._

"_How could you?" her mother and brother said in unison. "How could you let her do this?"_

"_I'm sorry! God, am I sorry, please, it wasn't me, Mum, Nathan, come back!"_

"_Cassandra, Cassandra". A new voice beckoned._

"Grandmother Cassandra, wake up, come on" Samantha sat in a chair next to a hospital bed, gently rocking Cassandra's shoulder. Cassandra stirred.

"It's not fair", she murmured.Samantha sat there, aware that her grandmother often randomly said things about her past, usually making no sence at all."He could still remember his son's face, his eyes, even the cloths he was wearing, everything. I wish I could." Dark rings had formed under the fragile woman's eyes. Her wrinkly old skin was draped over her ancient bones. A beautiful woman who had see too much, witnessed countless horrors and survived now laid, defenceless and scared, immobilised in her hospital bed.

"I can't even remember her face." Cassandra closed her eyes, "They're the lucky ones, the ones who can't forget. Who, through every sleeping moment, can see the ones who left them, as if it was yesterday." She paused.

"Then there is me. The one who can see their shadows and hear their words but never reach them, to touch them and see their faces again. They say they will always be there for you. Mum, Janet, Dan, even Teal'c. But they all have gone." A half-mocking smile was produced from her lips.

"The name of the game of life. Leave first or get left alone. Some day you'll have to make the choice, but ether way you lose. People dont last forever." Shocked Sammie reached for her grandmother.

"Dear Cassandra, you can't go on like this!" Sam took her hand. "Remember all the good things, they last, they do, in here" Sammie placed her hand over Cassandras heart.

Cassie opened her eyes.

"Tell me another story grandma, like old times" Cassandra managed a small smile.

"Okay" She nodded slowly.

Cleaning staff walked past the door, mop and bucket at hand. The fluorescent lighting flickered a couple of times out in the hall. Further outside, lovers made their way to the park bench to watch the millions of tiny stars twinkle against the pitch black night sky. The full moon looked down on the earth shining proudly, and in a little hospital room sat Cassandra and her grandchild, Samantha, quietly sharing some of life's more happier moments.

"And then he gave me a dog, and I quote – it's an earth rule, every child has to have one"

"That was nice", Sam giggled like a little girl again.

"Indeed". Cassandra looked out at the moon and smiled. She was finally free from the burdens and misunderstandings of her life. She realised she was never alone, they were always there, even if all they were, was shadows in her heart.

For the last time one single heart beat pushed its way around her body then grew silent.

Fly, fly little wing

Fly beyond imagining

The softest cloud, the whitest dove

Upon the wing of heavens love

Past the planets and the stars

Leave this lonely world of ours

Escape the trouble and the pain

And fly again

Celine Dion - Fly

FIN


End file.
